This is a transcription of a handwritten letter from a juror to the judge during a civil trial. They deleted the juror's name and inserted paragraph spacing for reading convenience, but everything else (including errors) is reproduced faithfully.
Anyone who has ever sat through an entire trial can appreciate this poor juror's frustration. I assume the judge had to boot the juror, but was probably nodding while he read the missive, saying, "I'm with you, brother."
Your Honor
I am tired of spending day after day wasting my time listening to this bull crap. This is cruel and unusual punishment. The plaintiff is an idiot. He has no case. Why are we here? I think my cat could better answer these questions . . . and he wouldn’t keep asking to see a document.
I’ve been patient. I’ve sat in these chairs for 7 days now. If I believed for a second this was going to end on Thursday I might not go crazy. This is going to last for another 4 weeks. I cannot take this. I hate these lawyers and prayed one would die so the case would end.
I shouldn’t be on this jury. I want to die. I want to die!! Well not die for real but that is how I feel sitting here. I am the judge, you’ve said that over and over, well I am not fair and balanced. I hate the plaintiff. His ignorance is driving me crazy. I know I’m writing this in vain but I have to do something . . . for my sanity. These jury chairs should come with a straight jacket.
An entire day today and we are still on the same witness. The defense hasn’t even started yet and we have 3 days left 3 days my ass. Not that the defense needs a turn considering the plaintiff and his lawyer (who looks like the Penguin) have no case!!!! Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Please keep the disordelies nearby. I may need them.
Juror #5
(Source: Lawhaha.com)
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